Submitted by a member of the Seneca Recovery Community
I have heard several times from people in the community that they would reach out to Seneca Strong more, for help, except they’ve “heard” about the breach of confidentiality that happens whenever someone seeks help from them. They don’t want everyone in the community to find out that they are working with Seneca Strong or that they need help to stop drinking or doing drugs.
Speaking from experience, when I was a heavy duty drinker and doing drugs, I simply did not care who saw me under the influence or knew what I was doing. Once I put alcohol or drugs into my body – all bets were off and the “sky’s the limit” was my motto! So, whether I was staggering down the street or I was in a physical altercation with somebody, I didn’t care who saw me. You know, we talk about passing out, right? Well, I don’t know if anyone else has ever done this, but did you ever pass out in public? I have no idea how many people saw me like that. How about driving while drunk? I was pulled over several times for driving while drunk. I managed to never get a DWI, but I was pulled over – in public! I even got pulled over in broad daylight!
What about domestic violence? How many times have you had the Marshals or the Sheriffs show up at your door – because there’s been a domestic violence episode? You see, being under the influence of alcohol and drugs, what happens is – we lose all inhibitions and we just don’t care who sees us that way. Pee pants, puke in our hair and all over our clothes; all bloody from trying to scrap – except we got beat up because we were too drunk or too high to know better. All out there – in public! Oh, and let’s not forget about Facebook! If you act up now, you can become famous on a very public platform – and the whole world can see you!
How about attending large gatherings, like weddings, concerts and outdoor festivals? How many times have you gone to a concert and made it home with one flip flop; or better yet, lost both your shoes? And there you were, dancing – in all your glory, in public; because everyone knows – when drunk, “nobody can dance as ace as me”! What about “falling down drunk”? I had a knack for falling down and making sure I didn’t spill a drop! That was very public!
Yup, been there, done a lot of crazy stuff and more – in public. So, when I had had enough and knew that I needed to change the way I was living, I didn’t want anyone to know I had a drinking problem or a drug problem. The truth of the matter is that everyone all around me already knew I had a problem long before I was willing to do anything about it. Another truth I learned is: selfishness and self-centeredness are at the very root of the disease of addiction. It was my inflated ego and deep seated self-centeredness which controlled my whole life when I was doing drugs and drinking. A friend of mine in recovery said it like this: “I’m not much, but I’m all I think about”.
If you identify with anything in this little story, and you want to reach out for help, please do it! Don’t worry about what other people will think about you reaching out for help. Don’t use that well-worn excuse: “I can’t get help, because I don’t want anybody to know.” or “There is no confidentiality”. Don’t be concerned about who knows you have a drug problem. Everyone already knows. Maybe you drink or do drugs alone and you think nobody knows. Same thing – if you want help, get help. We don’t need to be frightened or feel guilty or ashamed about doing something to improve our own lives and the lives of those that love us. Besides, if the people we drink and drug with are really our friends and sincerely care about us – they’ll want us to be well and get the help we need. If people in the community have seen you at your worst, why not let them see you at your best? Please, get the help you need. When you can, pass it on and help someone else. That’s way better than any drug or any drink!
